What Do I Do With Myself?


There have been a lot of big changes going on in our house in recent months. 

My son got his first job. He learned to drive and got his license. He had his first girlfriend and first heartbreak. This fall, he’s taking his first advanced (college) class in school. He recently started taking Brazillian Ju Jutsu classes. And he’s a junior in high school! 

My goodness. Where have the years gone? 

My son is gone and busy more lately than ever before. And in my heart, I know that this trend will continue increasing over the next two years as we hurl toward graduation, age 18, and “adulthood.” 

As a co-parent to just one child, I don’t have any other kids to soften the vacancy. When I get home from work, I sometimes find myself in an empty house. With only a cat to say hello to, the evening stretches out before me. Without full-time parenting duties that take up the majority of my non-job time, what in the world am I supposed to do with myself in this pre-empty nest? 

Sometimes, I find myself mindlessly rewatching Bridgerton or Schitt’s Creek (again). Other times, I feel the motivation to do projects around the house or run errands.

What do I want to do with these hours between work and making dinner and eating with my husband? Some soul-searching landed me on these things.

Revisit an Old Hobby

In my BM (before motherhood) life, I had hobbies. I used to make greeting cards, create holiday wreaths, read a lot of books, exercise, and do home improvement projects. It’s time to try these things again and see where my interests are.

Find a New Activity

I’ve always wanted to try pilates and take a tap dancing class. This is the best time!

Pour Into Relationships

Having a little extra time gives me additional minutes to spend with my husband. That’s wonderful! I also have some spare time for deepening friendships.

Take Care of My Health

Using this time for appointments, counseling, journaling, and exploring my feelings about these tremendous changes is one way to take good care of myself. 

Take Time to Reflect

I don’t always need to fill the time with doing so many things. Sometimes, it’s more useful to slow down and enjoy the moments.

Be Flexible

My son still needs me and plans may change at the last minute. As with all stages of motherhood, it’s good to stay flexible. 

Mamas, some seasons of motherhood seem so long because they are so hard. And others are like sand through our fingers. I’m doing all I can to embrace this season as the “raising kids” part of my journey is coming to its end. I’m working to be here now, right where I am, without looking back or forward. I don’t want to miss any of these precious moments.