Parenthood: Some Weird Juggling Guessing Game


My kids are going through a phase where they like to hit themselves in the head and talk meanly to themselves. I am not sure if I should do something or take bets on which one will hurt themselves first. When I talk with them about not hitting themselves, they tell me they think it feels good.

Stop It Now or Wait It Out?

I do not want them to get used to being hit even by themselves. Could this lead to masochism, wanting others to beat them up, letting people abuse them? Should I see how long this trend lasts or be concerned and step in? I often ask myself and other moms this question about our littles.

It is crazy how much of parenthood is spent gauging when to step in and when to let them figure it out. To me, it feels like parenthood is some weird juggling, guessing game that has no concrete answers. It is often scary, and advice can help or make things worse. Sometimes simultaneously.

Being a parent is hard, fun, scary, exciting, boring, and wonderful. I often get whiplash from the daily myriad of emotions. We love them fiercely and contemplate their death in the same five minutes, multiple times.

Too Much Introspection

I understand helicopter moms but cannot bring myself to exert that much control. I want to be a cool mom but lost my mind when my oldest started dressing himself and did not match. Somehow, I never realized how much it would bug me, nor how my feelings would somehow be tied to how I thought people would perceive my child or myself as a mom.

I have learned more about myself then I ever wanted to know after becoming a mom. I never wanted this much introspection as often it is not pretty. But I persevere.

I love, I try, I fail, I try again, and I change.

I share my food with my littles. This is a huge deal for me as I used to threaten people who tried to sample or share my food. I would spurn whoever ate the last chocolate chip cookie; now I give it to my youngest, who loves chocolate just like me.

But I still sometimes hide my favorite chocolate, so I don’t have to share. Ok, I often hide my favorite candy and do not share. But they get plenty of candy at Halloween and Christmas.

The Many Surprises of Parenthood

I am not sure what I thought being a parent would be like, but I think the emotional whiplash is the most surprising. Or maybe the sharing of my chocolate. Or that I had an unhealthy attitude toward matched outfits.

My son won that battle. I finally realized that in the grand scheme of life, what he wears today does not matter. It still bugs me sometimes, though.

Same with the self-hitting and unkind words. I might have to see what my psychologist friends think… It could just be a phase, right?

What surprised you about being a parent? How do you handle the emotional craziness? How have you changed?

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I am married to a wonderful cook named Bret(Thank goodness because I love to eat but not cook). I have two boys that started Kindergarten and Pre-school this year. I am thankful they are fed at school as they try to eat us out of house and home. We love to hike, game, swim, watch Bluey and anything with Superheroes and read. Currently, I teach history at Southern New Hampshire University online. Summer and Fall are my favorite seasons as I love the heat but also watching the leaves change and the nights turn crisp. Halloween and Christmas are my favorite holidays, and my house is decorated from September to the New Year.