I recently read an [1] article by a busy mom who challenged my thinking about sufficient housekeeping—precisely what is adequate for a clean house versus expectations of a “perfect house” that is nearly impossible at this stage in motherhood. The author specifically suggested that adopting a mindset of sufficiency—or enough, adequate. This shift in thinking has given her the freedom to let go and live more fully in the current stage of motherhood.
Unrealistic Expectations
Too many days, I have been worried about keeping the house in tip-top shape. Often this is an unrealistic expectation of myself or my kids to keep the house neat more than not. No doubt, I like a tidy house. When the demands of a clean house turn into a battle between vacuuming versus sitting down to play with my kids—I’m ashamed to say that often I grab the vacuum and say, “Just a minute” to my little ones. Unfortunately, the “minute” seems to slip my mind and theirs. As the vacuuming is done, we forgot that mommy would play with them. I’m often on to another task or preparing the next meal, missing quality time together.
So, we go about our day—me feeling exhausted and the kids missing out on time with their mom to play…read…connect.
Shift in Thinking
These fall months are filling up with a schedule busy with fall activities and back-to-school routines. Could I adopt a sufficient mindset in the housework instead of keeping my house up to a “perfect” standard (whatever that is)? How could I take more time to engage and be fully present with my kids?
I’m not sure yet what this means regarding how my house looks.
As I go about my day, I want to:
- be sure that I can put those tasks aside that can honestly wait.
- sit with my kids to read another book or play cars or trains.
- reflect on these years with joy, not about how well-kept the house was (or wasn’t).
A house that is sufficiently cared-for will free me to:
- see that my kids’ hearts were full of time spent with mom in meaningful, fun activities.
- be well-connected because of our time together spent with a purpose toward relationship rather than task.
- give up with the endless demands of housekeeping and choose to be present instead.
Letting go of my self-imposed ideals of keeping a “perfect” house may be challenging as I let go of tasks to embrace the time with my kids. But the relationships with my children are worth it.
How do you take time to be with your kids and set aside the housekeeping demands from busy home life? Are other distractions interfering with your chance to connect with your child(ren)?
[1] Sufficient Housekeeping by Aimee Fuhrman, CHEC Homeschool Update Magazine, Volume 1, 2023.
